Dirty Thirty

They dip their fingers into the baggie and rub the small crystals onto their gums.

It’s her birthday, a special birthday. Her thirtieth.

She’s dancing with Jack, riding her wave, ecstatic.

They’re feeling sexy, dancing close, connecting. They step outside to chain smoke and talk fast, fast, fast at each other. They’re sweating hard.

Jack shakes the sweat out of his hair. It lands on Kayleigh’s face.


But she doesn’t really mind.

He licks the droplets off her face. They giggle. He raises his arm and she sees them swell and drip in slow-motion.

They’re sooo shiny and pretty.

She closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out as far as it will go. She licks the length of his arm. At his armpit, she breathes in deeply. His scent is musky.

“Ooof, that tickles, tickles, tickles. Keep doing it, Kay, keep doing it, Kay, keep doing it, Kay.”

They both stick their tongues out and wiggle them at each other.

They lick the sweat off each other’s faces, giggle and do it again. Jack takes his shirt off and makes Kayleigh crouch down to lick the sweat out of his belly button.

She stands bolt upright and decides she’s supposed to be seducing him. She brings her finger to his lips, “Shhhhh”.

They freeze for a few beats, then give real kissing a go.

It’s warm and wet and they like it.

Kayleigh rubs her hand down his front and into his pants.

“Oooooh, Kay. What you doing? We’re friends. Good friends. Best friends. You know I think you’re hot. But we’re friends. Good friends. Best friends.”

Kayleigh cups his balls with her hand and pulls him closer.

He leans close to her ear and whispers, “Dirty thirty. You know, I’ve always wondered what you taste like.”

She guides his hands into her pants.

“It’s really, really warm and wet in here.”

“You just wait.”

He slides his finger inside. She feels her walls stretch against them. He wiggles his finger inside and then holds it out in front of him. He sucks it, cocks his head to one side and purses his lips.

“Kay, you’re kinda sweet.”

She nods.

“Have another go.”

He slides his finger inside.

He wiggles his fingers around. He draws them out and separates his fingers.

They watch as the slimy threads snap.

They both suck his fingers. And giggle.

She bends her knees and they both dip their fingers in.

She moans.

Suzy strides over.

“OMG guys. You can’t do that in public.”

He looks stricken. And shakes his head hard.

“Really, no, really, no? But I can’t stop. Not right now. I’m working out what she feels like from the inside. And what she tastes like too.”

“TMI, Jack.”

Suzy separates them.

“Oh, but Suzy, looks what’s happened…”

The three of them looked down at his erection.


 Kayleigh pulls him into the disabled loo.

They dip their fingers into the baggie again and rub what’s left onto their gums.

They turn the taps and place their wrists under the cold, running water.

Jack cups his hands, scoops some water and pours it down Kayleigh’s chest.

Her nipples harden.

He squeezes them between his finger.

He tears her pants down and pushes her against the sink.

He licks her, slowly, all the way from the front to the back.

Everything is cool and wet. Pulsating baseline, hearts beating fast, rushing water.

Suddenly, she’s not in the sink anymore… it’s on the floor.

The water gushes from the rusty pipes and begins to pool on the dirty lino.

They’re up to their ankles in cold water and start shivering.

They panic. Jack pulls the red cord.


The manager cordons the area and shuts the music down.

They all tumble out onto the street. Talking fast, fast, fast.

Their clothes are soaked, their baggies are water-logged and her underwear has been stuffed into the pipes in a misguided attempt to plug the flow.


The next morning, a call from Kayleigh’s Dad.

“Explain yourself now.”

She’s in pieces.

She fobs him off with a story about cutting her foot on a shard of glass. Jack helped her out.

“I mean, how could we have known that the place was in such a state that the sink was ready to drop off the wall?”

Kayleigh’s dad went along with her version of events and set up an instalment plan to pay for the damage.


Kayleigh did some soul-searching. She’d been finding herself in these compromising positions time and time again.

Escapades that were visceral, explicit, fucked-up.


Now these were stories worth telling.

One a month for a year.

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